22 years March 23, 2007Posted by dorigo in personal, social life.
My apologies to those of you who read this blog for the physics content… The following is a personal note of which you might well say you cannot care less. Oh well… I have no energy nor time to run four different blogs, one for the Physics, one for the chess, one for the Astronomy, and one for my private matters!
So, 22 years ago I for the first time kissed the lady who would later become my wife.
On the evening of March 22nd 1985 a party was thrown at the big house of Mariarosa’s family, and lots of friends were invited. We were celebrating both Mariarosa and Giovanna for their 20th birthday on a date equidistant to the two actual birth dates (Giovanna’s is March 15th, Mariarosa’s is March 29th). As usual, wine flowed easily. Boys had fun talking about politics or soccer, and girls talked about university issues and general gossip…
I was not really a womanizer 22 years ago. I had never had a real girlfriend in my life. In my teenager years I had been overweight – not obese, but just enough on the fat side to be the odd one in the pack. Because of that, I had grown insecure about myself with girls: the thought that girls were not attracted to me was losing strength as I approached 20 years of age, but it was still there.
My insecurity did not mean I was not looking around for hints, though; only, the few positive signals I at times received from girls caused my brain to launch an effective post-processing rather than trigger immediate action, and usually alternative interpretations of those signals were quickly found, and they invariably looked more probable than the girl’s invitation to seek contact.
Wine could help in several ways… Girls would emit more frequent positive signals and higher intensity ones, my brain would have more trouble with its post-processing, and contact would be easier.
That evening, Mariarosa and I were both a bit drunk – but not overly so. The party was in full swing, and people had dispersed in small groups around in the big house. I remember entering a poorly lit room for no particular reason, and finding her standing next to the door. She was holding a glass of wine, and she was wearing a nice sexy shirt we had given to her as a birthday present just an hour before.
She said no word, but she gave me a look which for some reason was not post-processed. I reached for her and kissed her. It was sweet and very passionate, although I suspected I was just being an extemporaneous birthday party entertainment: my brain was still trying to find more rational, less risky solutions to the situation than a girl’s sincere attraction to me. Risky would have been the illusion that something was starting. Or maybe it was risky, judging it from 22 years downstream. Oh well.
Some time later, we emerged from her bedroom. The party was still in full swing. People had realized what had happened, and surprise was mixed with grin -and envy in some case- in the faces of our friends. I felt at the top of the world.
But that was not the start of our relationship… Three more years would pass before we understood we were meant to be together.